What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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