So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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