what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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You were born.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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