Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

Robin, get in the car!

so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...