why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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