A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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