why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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