despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the black person die? Of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The Blonde walked into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

thumb_up thumb_down -20

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops