How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops