Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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