- Anti Joke

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

jeanna:fu jack:did u just say fu jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Corn Muffins

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

Corn Muffins

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

jeanna:fu jack:did u just say fu jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew