whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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