Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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What did Jesus say when he made the first black person? What another perfect creation to this world!

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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pudding

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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Why do mexicans eat tacos? Because they're good

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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