Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops