Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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feminine literature

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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