why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Please ignore this statement.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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