mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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cancer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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