Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Justin beiber's penis

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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