What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Your girlfriend.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops