Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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cool

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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TRICERATOPS!

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops