A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time a was born

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops