Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

A dog was barking at a tree

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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