How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops