How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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