Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

What is the best joke ever? 1D

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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