"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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