Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

SBB

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

A Duck walks into a bar.

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

Alex Gedrose.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

Women's Rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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