Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i like turtles

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did u know that 10/10 people die?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down -1

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops