When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops