- Anti Joke

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

Whats funny? Your face.

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

Democracy.

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

homosexual rights to marriage

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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a blind man walks into a wall

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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