Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops