Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops