How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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