How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's white and gluey Glue

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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school homewrok

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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