Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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