If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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