Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops