Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops