What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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