What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops