A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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I Have a Black Friend

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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