Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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