So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops