Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops