Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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