- Anti Joke

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you