- Anti Joke

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" BOOOOOOM" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

Knock knock knock OCD

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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