What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Potassium? K.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops