Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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