John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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