HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops