how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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A van drives into a car.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops