What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Robert Mugabe.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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