A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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