A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops