Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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