What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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