Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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SUCK MY NUTS

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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